Archive for the ‘Rants’ Category

On Your Left

Monday, August 8th, 2005

If you read my away message on Sunday, which I suppose you probably would have out of shock, you probably know that I was off Biking. My family decided to go to some bike trail around Providence. I don’t really know where we were… I just biked… Anyway, The trip was supposed to be about 30 miles, but I doubled back so frequently to allow the rest of the family to catch up that I ended up doing 51.55 miles in 2 hours and something minutes for an average speed of 18.4 Miles per hour. ( I guess it would have to be about 48 minutes. ) My doubling back caused me to pass some people up to five times. Thankfully, I went the whole day without being passed, even by the biker dudes(I passed them…). Had they passed me, I would have become angered and forced myself to go faster than the normal 21 mph. I then would have over exerted myself and died… You know, I have a thing about that… All of the hardcore cyclists have the tight pants, shirts and biking gloves. That biking attire screams “Hey sucker, I’m faster than you, piss off!”, yet I was faster than them… this angers me as well. They really need to live up to the reputation of their clothes. I think I’m ranting now. I’ll stop.

We stopped at that Greenville shopping center thing on the way home. I bought graph paper and a new router at Staples, and a HUGE caribiner (lager than my other huge one.). We also stopped at Radio Shack, where I had hoped to avoid being attacked by the evil vulture-like employees. DO I LOOK LIKE I NEED HELP?!? Anyway, by the time I was attacked, I was already on my way to the registers. I thought I was free at that point, but I guess I was wrong. The vulture asked me if I have a cellphone. I said no. He said why. I said that I despise phones. Hiss boss said “Maybe phones don’t like you.” I said “Maybe they don’t…” Then I left!!! I still haven’t gotten around to debricking the router :’(. I bricked and debricked the new router all within five minutes. All hail boot_wait.

The All Day Pace

Monday, June 27th, 2005

When we’re hiking for Philmont, the slowest person leads a what is called the all day pace—a pace that the whole crew can comfortably maintain for the duration of the day. If you have a fast crew, the all day pace may be a truly comfortable pace, but for me it is hell… My normal pace is around twice the ‘all day pace’. Consequently, when I am forcedto walk the all day pace, I feel like a cyclist who is going just fast enough to avoid falling. ( Yes, I wobble like that too! ). The pace we walked on flat ground was depressingly slow. There were two times my legs didn’t hurt yesterday during our third Philmont shakedown; one of them was when I was leading and the other was when comrade Brian was leading ( Neither of us lasted long as leader. { we were fired. } ).

I started working on a new template today… Anyone who happend to visit this morning should have seen the beginnings. ( I’m actually altering this template drammatically. ) Well… umm.. This is actually the new theme now… It is very far from done, but I’m sure I’ll finish it before summer’s end. Edit: I just changed my mind and put the old one back.

School, Paper, Stupidity

Thursday, June 23rd, 2005

Look at me… I’m actually blogging again later. Over the last two days, I have recieved Exactly four envelopes from school. I recieved three envelopes yesterday, and one today. Of the envelopes I recieved yesterday, one was addressed to me and two were addressed to my parents. The one addressed to me contained a notice about senior pictures. One of the envelopes addressed to my parents contained the same exact notice. The other one was an informational packet about summer reading—the same exact packed I was given in class. ( or close enough to it… ). The envelope with the summer reading had two $.37 stamps on it. With about 800 students, that comes up to $592, not including the cost of printing duplicate pakcets for everyone. This is the same packet that is available in the guidence office all summer long. I recieved the B12 memorandum today, but wait… isn’t that the same packed that I had to go pick up in Mrs. Druin’s room? ( yeah, it is… ). oh.. and… I recieved another summer reading packet today… Now if I lose one of them, I’ll have two spares. Now would be a great time to rant about the duplicate award ceremony invitations, but I have already done so. Simply put, the school spends somewhere well over $1000 sending out duplicates of certain publications…

As I glanced over my report card today, I first ran my eyes down the credits column to make sure there wasn’t some freak accident that caused me to fail something for the year. After seeing a 0.000 in the US history row, I looked again… and again… and again… and… Wait… There aren’t any failing grades in that row. I then looked at the career credits printed at the bottom of the report card. It says I have 18.5 career credits, which I know is impossible without even doing any real math. Career exploration is a quarter credit and is the only quarter credit class I have taken; thus, my total credits can not be divisible by 1/2… It looks like the error is in the credits, not the grades, which is good… Looks like I’ll ( I mean my mom will ) be on the phone with guidence tomorrow…

Police Suck…

Friday, June 10th, 2005

Ever knocked on someone’s door only to learn that he/she wasn’t home? Hey, I did that today. Now you know how I feel. I was supposed to go to Jill’s house after exams to set up an orienteering course… We never really set a time. So, I had got directions to Jills house from my frient, Mike Harter who is friends with Jill’s brother, Justin. Anyway, there was constuction near Jills house, and there was a cop directing traffic parked right outside her house. I knocked on Jill’s door; no one answerd. I knocked again; no one answerd. So, she wasn’t home… I figured I’d go home and call Joe to find out where she was. Before I was able to get back to my truck, that cop raped me. He asked me “Is that your house?”, although he clearly knew the answer. Of course, I said no, so he interrogated me, asking why I was there, who gave me directions, who I was meeting, as well as my address, phone number, name and date of birth. I ask you now… Is it a crime to knock on a door and walk away? I think not. Should I have just walked away from the cop?… Probably. The last question he asked was “Who were you supposed to meet?”. I replied, saying “Jill”… He then said to me “Well, that is her house…”. I don’t like police now. They disturb my peace. I suppose I am a little tense about this whole thing… It really doesn’t matter… Everything I said checks out, so pish him!

The pointless point

Thursday, June 9th, 2005

The best laid schemes of mice and men gang aft agley… So they do. I had plans for a wonderful rant—a true rant. Unfortunately, I was under the influence of thirty-two ounces of coffee at the time… When the caffeine wore off, so did all my creativity. Now, I am left with hollow outlines of what was once a promising rant. oddly enough, I think I am succeeding in ranting about forgeting what I am supposed to be ranting about…

If I can’t rant, I’ll summarize; If I can’t summarize… I suck. I was given many presents today… Mr. Horne gave me some books, and a list of more to buy, then McNutty gave me a book.. and… gasp..no… work… he chuckled about it too… He walked in, ruined my summer.. and walked out laughing. FOOL! The chemistry work shouldn’t be so bad, but I’ve yet to recieve my english work for next year… Anyway… The hard cover versions of the books I’m supposed to buy are about $80 each.. not bad. I could get a paperback, or soft copy of one of them for around $30, but is that what I really want?

Class day was today. It sucked, but it does provide me with ample oportunity to bitch at Trogisch. That bitch. I’m not sure if it was his decision, but class day was moved back until 1300… Now, Trogie, since when has class day taken fewer than fifty-two minutes? It hasn’t, you moron? So why did you try to make it?… CAUSE YOU’RE AN IDIOT. Previously, class day has always been in the moring. You know… MAKING IT EARIER… MIGHT help with the sweating my bawls off factor. soo… did anyone see the old guy with the little kid? ( Austin? ).. Just thought I’d make it known… That’s my uncle, Mr. Polachek’s partner in crime, for over 40? years…hehe

I had an idea today. Read carefully, this doesn’t happen often… ::giggle:: Damn, I’m badass. In short, I plan to make a wordpress plugin to post my wordpress posts to an Lj… What fun!!! Well, the programming part anyway. Live journal is beginning to piss me off. ( time for a hey you guys type of thing.. ) HEY YOU GUYS!!!… Blogger is MUCH better and it is made by Google ( definitely a + [one googol] ). Short of paying, live journal provides no means of template customization. Note: I refer not to changing colors and petty things of that sort; I refer to actually editing the [X]HTML of one’s template. I also find the Blogger interface muchos sexier. ( ooo.. look at me. I hablo spanish… )

i 4m 74king 7h3 7ruck ( either that or the car… ) 70 5ch001 70m0rr0w. :)… and the next day.. and the next day.. and the next day.. and the next day…. see a pattern here? I thought so. I’ve already taken my physics exam ( which I got a B+ on after the 15 point scale… ), so I am freeeee after my history exam tomorrow!!! Yay!.. Tim and I are going to Bert’s for breakfast… Josh is stowing himself away in the trunk/bed.

Telephones—an unnescessary evil!

Monday, June 6th, 2005

Its no secret that I hate telephones and completely and utterly detest cellphones. On the bus today, Lea asked me why I hate phones. I didn’t really have a good answer, but I’ve had plenty of time to think since then… Here are some reasons/excuses:

  1. If you call me on the phone while I’m home… If I’m home, I’m on the internet. Instant message me, shithead!!! Don’t make me get up and walk 15 feet to the nearest phone.
  2. If I’m not home… You’ll ask me to call you back? What’s with that? If you really want to talk to me, you’ll call me back… Then we’re back to number 1…
  3. I am on the internet. You know my email address. Don’t lie to me… You do. If you are reading this then you have ways to obtain my email address. ( you could try a whois on divinelunacy.com, or you might read my LiveJournal user info ) Get to it…
  4. I don’t talk when I’m not on the phone; what makes you think I’ll talk when I am on the phone?
  5. I don’t want to talk to you. I’d rather talk to a telemarketer. I have no problem telling them to f*** off.
  6. Cellphones… Ah yes. What good are they going to do me? I don’t want to talk to you anyway, and a cellphone is just another good way for you to reach me.
  7. What’s that you say? You’re dead? Nothing is too sensitive to tell me via email… If you don’t like that, get your ass over here!
  8. I don’t need a cellphone incase I get lost… I’m an Eagle Scout… I don’t get lost. ( accidentally, that is. )
  9. If my car breaks down… oh well.. sucks to be me. I’ll just sit there like an idiot then cry about it for days to come…
  10. If I’m attacked by wolves… or other animals: I’m an Eagle Scout… I’ll stab them and burn their eyes out then eat them…
  11. If I’m drowning… I don’t think I’d swim with a cellphone. I’m an Eagle Scout, I dont’ drown.
  12. Brother Soccer six… My brother doesn’t play soccer… Ghee!
  13. I have more sophisticated ways to set off bombs… Cellphones are so old school!

I should be at the Math League party right now. This sucks. I have no transportation. ( now is where the ranting starts… ) I would drive there but, I can’t find my driving directions, my sister has My dad’s car, my mom has my mom’s car, I’m not ‘certified’ to drive the truck ( manual transmission ) and my Dad is too sick to drive me. I bet the party sucks without me there… ( can’t type that with a straight face… ) In my time of great depression, I think I might make a list of links in the navbar and maybe start work on a Coke theme :)

One of those posts…

Monday, May 30th, 2005

I figure I’ll do one of those posts—yeah, one of them. You know, one of those ones like “I mowed the lawn on saturday then went to the beach and got some sun.”… Nothing is definitely something to blog about. I may not have much something, but believe me, I am full of nothings to write about. If only one could do well in english just writing nothing. Very good at writing nothing, I am. Take this for instance. I read the logs; I know there are a bunch of you idiots out there reading this ( including me ), but what do you expect to get from it? If you’re in the business of stalking, you won’t get anything. It’s not like I’m going to mention that I urinated at 0844 this morning or anything… One of my biggest problems is my memory. Don’t get me wrong, I have a very good memory, but why waste it memorizing everything I did on may 23rd? If I sit here and think, I won’t get any further and I’ll probably get a headache. What’s the point? What’s the point of this paragraph? There isn’t one. You could have used all the time you spent reading this paragraph sleeping.

While we’re on the subject of monday… A good day it was. The schedule seemed to go exactly as it does every other monday. It’s kind of funny how that works, isn’t it? I don’t recall much of anything happening on tuesday either… Lets skip ahead to thursday, shall we?

Thurday was great for a bad reason… I almost feel bad for the underclassmen. They are having all these pooey graduation requirements added and what do they get for it? Class cuts!!! They’ve yet to drop the whole technology department, but I assure you, they are on their way. Another one of my classes was cut last week! AP-Stats won’t be running now. Meanwhile, there is some fat ass turkey walking around in my backyard. wow, I am easily distracted. Perhaps it is the latino pop music? la vida que viene y yo me voy..aaahh. Anyway, the class being cut is one thing, but trying to find one to replace it is another thing. There is nothing else for me to take as far a math goes. Biotech Runs the wrong period. AP-Bio is the same period as AP-Chem… I’d rather not take fashion design… As for web, I think I have that down. ( and I’ve heard not so good things about the class… ) “Take band!”, says my mom with a hint of enthusiasm. Band? I detest band. I haven’t even THOUGHT about taking band since I was shafted by the evil Mrs. Kyte. ( her very presence was enough to kill anyone. ) I can’t say I like the idea of having a craaazy, harvard graduate, coffee theiving, hat yoinking, scatter-brained midget for a band teacher either. ( Not that I have anything against her. My coffee smuggling antics are far superior to her evil gaze. ) Off topic again, I am. This seems to be a good example of a rant. I have no idea where this is going. I initially learned about the cancellation of stats on tuesday, from the all-knowing Mr. Horne who said “Believe me, I can find something” when I mentioned that there aren’t any classes to take. If there is one thing I will never forget from White Stag ( leadership training ), it is “use your resources”. Mr. Horne turned out to be quite a useful resource—he is going to try to hook me up with an independant study for next year.

I’ve ranted so extensively that I’ve forgotten about what I am supposed to rant about… Alas, the sun hath come and warmed my soul. The sun brings warm feelings to my heart, even when it means mowing the lawn. I’ve decided that I am some kind of demented beach bum thing. It seems all I have done for many summers involves water and submersion therein. I suppose true beach bums don’t sail and kayak, but that is what makes me demented. I quite enjoy being demented… I’m fat… I need food. I think I’ll proofread this later. Hmm.. proofreading might ruin the weird scatterdness… Maybe I’ll even rant some more later. I have a report to write, and if I spare 5 minutes, I can complete the rest of the requirements for a gold palm. Yay me. I’m a super-scout/ubergeek/weirdo/etc/…

Where to begin?

Monday, May 9th, 2005

An interesting turn of events today… Sometime ago, I had an idea, an interesting idea. As many of us php developers know, PHP is a rich language that comes with many built in functions and options to gain functionality through third party libraries, etc. Two of the more used of these libraries are MySQL and libCURL. It is curl I plan to talk about today.

Not too long ago, the School district installed a filtering mechanism provided by 8e6 technologies, through rinet, as is my understanding. This filtering device is clearly not what it is made out to be. While a good filter might sniff both incoming and outgoing packets, this filter only checks outgoing requests against a human-maintained blacklist (and keyword filter). Understandably, there is a lot of overhead involved in good filtering, but for those who are truly concerned, .3 seconds shouldn’t make that much difference. Because the filter blocks mainly by domain and the ip addresses they resolve to, one merely needs to bounce the blocked content off of an unblocked server I.e: divinelunacy.com is not blocked (yet), therefore, a simple php script can be used to take the content from addictinggames.com, rewrite the urls contained therein ( to bounce them ) and send it back to the user. In essence, it takes three lines of php to bypass the filtering mechanisms on a per-file basis.

$handle = curl_init();
curl_setopt( $handle, CURLOPT_URL, $this->url );
curl_exec($handle);

Of course, that isn’t very good… Regular expressions are easily used to rewrite all urls contained within a page (including stylesheet urls). All of that barely uses a measurable fraction of libCurl’s abilities. I also used the user option agent and set it to my user agent: Mozilla/5.0 (X11; U; Linux i686; en-US; rv:1.7.6) Gecko/20050317 Firefox/1.0.2. And yeah, there was more beyond that. The actual bypassing mechanism and all of the mechanisms contained therein comes out to 229 lines of php with excessive commenting. I have written it from scratch about 3 times. It is now all object oriented PHP :). A similar, opensource program is available at ibypass.org, in case anyone wants to know… ( I’ll post mine to my digital portfolio as soon as I finish coding the wordpress plugin… )

Well, anyway, apparently the school doesn’t like being undermined like that. We had a nice long talk 5th period today about lots of things.

There has been a lot going on with Tom/Corey lately ( we’re not even friends… ) and the fools ( “or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press;” ) seem to think that I have something to do with it. I cannot enough emphasize the idiocy incurred by these assumptions. It seems these days that one cannot know even a simple server side scripting language without being a hacker. Now as if the hacker assumption isn’t enough, it is apparently odd that I am working alone. Yes, you heard that right. Apparently, if you know how to program, you must have lots of friends, you must be part of a group… Hey, I’m writing a php tutorial if anyone wants to be immediately blessed with infinite friends and prestige amongst hackers… Wait… I’m only a script kitty, how can that work? Ever feel like you were somehow caught in the middle of something big? Well, If I know anything, I’ll be sure to tell the police. Wait!!! Need I say it more blatantly? I am not a hacker. Oh wait, our illustrious net admin can’t tell the difference… Honestly, Rambacher , what were you thinking running a web server on windows? (feel free to provide an answer.) Are you aware of the numbers? Clearly you don’t realize that the line of best fit for the IIS market share from February 2002 to present has a negative slope… Now, just looking at the graphs, Apache seems to have the absolute value of that slope during the same time period. About 48.83% MORE servers run on Apache than on “Microsoft” (IIS). I won’t even get started on the steady decline in IE use compared to the Steady incline in Firefox. Just about any browser is better and more w3c compliant than IE, not to mention the security gains. I guess security and performance don’t matter these days. In case you are wondering, this wasn’t posted from school… ( obviously… )

So. For those of you whom I haven’t told, I am working on writing a digital portfolio plugin for wordrpess. Why? I don’t know why I am making it a wordpress plugin. ( the only reason I have been able to come up with is the backend… ) I am making it to house my the vast depths of /home/mario/, which contains many assorted things. Including a Fibonacci number generator written in C++ ( well, I did a php version too ). Who wouldn’t want to peruse that? ( Ok, I wouldn’t… )

Well, for those of you who read all the way down to here, I suppose I should tell the end of my interesting anecdote. I’ve lost my computer privledges. It is apparently worse to write the software than to use it. Afterall, they didn’t even ask me for names of those with access. ( and I actually didn’t use it… ). Were they to ask, I wouldn’t tell. They have the names they want, they have a martyr and as for the other names, they know I didn’t use SSL on the form. ( though urls were base64 encoded ). A post on the combinatorics POW tomorrow, methinks.

Coke Dealers, Heroes, whores, Rules, Regulations, and Beyond

Wednesday, May 4th, 2005

Before anything worth happening happens, I feel it is my civil duty ( to the society of me ) to point out that the title is obnoxiously long.

Yes, you read it right. I have a coke dealer now. Last week, I had a little talk with Aaron. ( “your mom” knows who he is… ) Nearly everyday, Aaron brings in a two liter bottle of soda. I am now in on this deal. I get 2-liters of coke on both Tuesday and Thursday. let the world rejoice, for a have a coke dealer.

Would you believe I have a coke whore as well? A lot of good that did… At lunch Tammy tried to steal my coke, which was no surprise. She trys everyday on the bus… Yesterday was different. She went for my 2-liter and succeeded. I then called her a coke whore. Apparently, girls don’t like being called whores. ( who knew? ). She didn’t say anything about it immediately, but on the bus she wouldn’t talk to me. Then she tried beating me up with a notebook, which went well, overall. The only problem was the teacher stalking the bus… She stalked us all the way to the middle school. The she came on the bus and flipped out at Tammy. It was pretty funny.

Oops. I’m out of order. Miss Ryan would not approve. I have a hero now too… Up until today, my Aaron was my hero. ( can’t not love the coke dealer… ) (excuse the preceding double negative.) Today, I found a new hero, a true hero. Mr. Harrison. He came to me in a time of dire need and gave me batteries for my calculator. For this, I shall be eternally grateful. In fact, If I weren’t busy writing this crap, I’d be building an alter.

One last thing before the rules and regulations… I removed a 10lb barbell from my backpack and distributed the weight more efficiently… It worked a lot better…

When in the course of computing (or life in general), one becomes pwned, prompt and powerful retaliation is necessary. As my first act of retaliation, I choose to prepend the pwnage with the negation operator. This removes from me the oh so intense pressure and gives me time to think. As my second act, I choose not to act, but to leave the negation as is; A negated pwn surely cannot hurt me and negating the negated pwn would certainly cause a syntax error. It is now in this state, shielded by the power of the Almighty logical negation operator that I choose to formulate a written retaliation in order to deffer all recurrences. [of pwnage]:

Henceforth, random pwns are disallowed. All those wishing to pwn me must submit a typewritten challenge using proper grammar and spelling. The letter must be no less than 2 paragraphs in length. The first paragraph should describe the challenge in detail, while the second should provide me with no less than eleven and a half reasons to accept the challenge. If the challenger fails to figure out how to make half a reason, the challenge will not be reviewed. if ( all requirements are met ) { The challenge will be reviewed. A typewritten response will be produced in no more than twenty three and twenty-six seventy eights hours. } If the challenge is felt to have bias or be otherwise unfair, it will be destroyed by means of fire in no more than thirteen hours [after being reviewed]. All destroyed challenge letters will be engulfed in flames atop the sacred rock. (I’ve yet to find one of those.)

In the event that the challenger wins the challenge, the right to call me pwned is not immediately granted. Pwnage is more than winning. For me to be “pwned”, I must unanimously be deemed “Stopped dead in my tracks” by a panel of upperclassmen judges, (selected by me) which shall be composed of no fewer than two persons. If one has the audacity to make a challenge, he best win; to lose a challenge put forth by one’s self is pathetic, and will, under all circumstances grant me the right to claim I have pwned the challenger.

Furthermore, I reserve the right to do whatever the hell I want. Don’t like it? Tough…

Drink Coke - Play Again!

Monday, March 7th, 2005

Today, I will address an issue which has plauged hardcore coke guzzling caffeine whores for some time now… Ever notice how the caps haven’t said “DRINK COKE PLAY AGAIN” for a while? Yeah, they give you some code to type in at the website or something. What’s that all about? ( don’t answer. ) Its because they want to be rather equivocal with you. They couldn’t just come right out and say “You Lose”. Hey, if it doesn’t tell you that you have lost, you must not have, right? wrong… How many people actually bothered to type the codes in? probably a very small percentage. ( probably why they had no problem doing that, eh? ) Well, as of recent, coke caps accross america once again read the all too familiar phrase “Drink Coke Play Again” Isn’t it great?

Now, lets talk theoretical probability, which is apparently all to theoretical. 1 in 12 wins, right? Logically, that means that 1/12 of the bottles of coke that leave the factory are winners right? Of course, the distribution is random. True randomness has clumps. But how clumpy is it? Well, I buy a 20 oz every school day. I have won 5 free cokes this year. ( school year… ) 4 of them were one over a three week period. 1 each tuesday for three consecutive weeks and one on the second friday. Perhaps I hit a clump. Well, what I am getting to is: No matter how they are distributed, the same number of winning cokes are produced. Sooo… Why not just distribute them evenly? ( if not only to make me happy. ) I get really depressed when I don’t win which should be 11/12 of all school days. Saddly, it is a much higher number

Enough Ranting about that. Did I mention that I have been sick for the last pi days? Of course I didn’t, but that leads me to coke. I really could go for a coke right now.

Oh, and before my mind floats away to some happy place and gxine crashes again… I finally got around to sharpening knives and polishing boots yesterday… ( yes, the two go together. ) for anyone that cares, I use a Gatco kit with 5 hones, angle guide and honing oil. And that soup I put on the stove 38 minutes ago and forgot about is all dry and sticking to the pan now…