Telephones—an unnescessary evil!
Its no secret that I hate telephones and completely and utterly detest cellphones. On the bus today, Lea asked me why I hate phones. I didn’t really have a good answer, but I’ve had plenty of time to think since then… Here are some reasons/excuses:
- If you call me on the phone while I’m home… If I’m home, I’m on the internet. Instant message me, shithead!!! Don’t make me get up and walk 15 feet to the nearest phone.
- If I’m not home… You’ll ask me to call you back? What’s with that? If you really want to talk to me, you’ll call me back… Then we’re back to number 1…
- I am on the internet. You know my email address. Don’t lie to me… You do. If you are reading this then you have ways to obtain my email address. ( you could try a whois on divinelunacy.com, or you might read my LiveJournal user info ) Get to it…
- I don’t talk when I’m not on the phone; what makes you think I’ll talk when I am on the phone?
- I don’t want to talk to you. I’d rather talk to a telemarketer. I have no problem telling them to f*** off.
- Cellphones… Ah yes. What good are they going to do me? I don’t want to talk to you anyway, and a cellphone is just another good way for you to reach me.
- What’s that you say? You’re dead? Nothing is too sensitive to tell me via email… If you don’t like that, get your ass over here!
- I don’t need a cellphone incase I get lost… I’m an Eagle Scout… I don’t get lost. ( accidentally, that is. )
- If my car breaks down… oh well.. sucks to be me. I’ll just sit there like an idiot then cry about it for days to come…
- If I’m attacked by wolves… or other animals: I’m an Eagle Scout… I’ll stab them and burn their eyes out then eat them…
- If I’m drowning… I don’t think I’d swim with a cellphone. I’m an Eagle Scout, I dont’ drown.
- Brother Soccer six… My brother doesn’t play soccer… Ghee!
- I have more sophisticated ways to set off bombs… Cellphones are so old school!
I should be at the Math League party right now. This sucks. I have no transportation. ( now is where the ranting starts… ) I would drive there but, I can’t find my driving directions, my sister has My dad’s car, my mom has my mom’s car, I’m not ‘certified’ to drive the truck ( manual transmission ) and my Dad is too sick to drive me. I bet the party sucks without me there… ( can’t type that with a straight face… ) In my time of great depression, I think I might make a list of links in the navbar and maybe start work on a Coke theme 
June 9th, 2005 at 0732:06
it did suck without you!!! I HATED IT! Mr. Horne is mad that he didn’t wait longer, which he was going to but then decided not to. I was like, “Where the fuck is Bowzer?” Or, Lowzer, thanks to Chris B-G.
and you don’t have to bleep out fuck.
and I don’t think I’ve ever encountered you in anyway saying “shithead.” It’s lovely.
June 9th, 2005 at 0744:33
Hmm… I’ll have to wash your mouth out with soap. I don’t have to bleep anything out. I own the domain… Its not like the internet police are going to come rape me for it… NOw that you mention it though, it would be rather fun to write a bleeping program… I bet someone has already done it.. god.. I’ve had soo much coffee now… I think I’ll turn this comment in to a post later… the only problem is that I won’t be able to rant like this without coffee, which will defeat the whole pointless point of the post…
June 9th, 2005 at 1833:12
soapy mouthwashing and internet police rapists…
…you’ve had WAYYY too much coffee.
one’s cold, one’s hot, one’s french vanilla, one’s not.
June 12th, 2005 at 1157:38
::poke poke::darlin, the phone may be ponitless to you but to me, i need it. otherwise i wouldn’t be going out with richie, so the phone isn’t all that pointless. sure, it makes people lazy, but still, it’s a good source of erm…idk the word…COMMUNICATION. sry darlin, i just had to put this. ::poke poke:: BYE!